Where do you draw the line between being frugal and cheap? You've gone overboard with frugality if it harms or takes advantage of someone else. But even that has gray areas for some, especially when people can be at different ends of the frugal spectrum, depending on whether they're frugal by choice or necessity.
Here are a few examples of when you've crossed over to the cheap side of town.
TOILET-PAPER RATIONING: When you have toilet-paper rules, such as how many squares each family member is allowed to use. OK, we don't want children winding paper boxing gloves around their hands. Flattening the roll is A-OK. Two-square rule? It's time to loosen up a little. There are plenty of other areas to focus on. No one wants to feel they're not even worthy of toilet paper.
FOOD: Cheaper foods are often less healthy. If you stop caring about what you're eating, you've taken frugality too far. Using coupons, shopping sales or buying when in season are frugal strategies. Eating overprocessed foods isn't considering long-term benefits.
LOW QUALITY: When you sacrifice quality and lasting value, you're being cheap. One reader, Constance in New Jersey, shares: "Searching for the best price on quality items equals frugal. Buying 'make-do,' inferior items equals cheap. I try to be as thrifty as possible. When we notice that something is making one of us unhappy, we bump up that category/item's spending, whether it's clothes, food, toilet paper or whatever. Otherwise, we feel we're being too cheap."
IGNORING HEALTH OR SAFETY: Buying secondhand or reusing items is great, but you're being foolishly cheap if you ignore your health, comfort and safety. Powdered and sugary drinks might be cheap, but water is a better option. Not checking safety recalls is risky, and ignoring your personal hygiene to save money is gross. Depriving yourself is one thing. Forcing deprivation on others is cheap. Another reader, Kim in Michigan, adds: "My line is the heating and air conditioner. My husband works outside all year long, so when it's hot outside, he deserves to come home to a cool house and relax. In the winter, he deserves a warm house. My oldest daughter has a heart condition, and my youngest has asthma, so too hot or too cold affects them. During the day when I am alone, I keep the heat down very low and wear a sweater or use a throw blanket. But when the family comes home, temperature in the house is made comfortable."
WIN, LOSE: Delaying gratification, cost comparisons and researching products to get the best bargain is smart and savvy shopping. But constantly looking to get something for nothing or taking more than your share is shameful and cheap. For example, choosing water with your meal or dining out for breakfast instead of dinner is frugal. Expecting your friends or family to pick up the bill, lying about your age or your child's age to get a discount, or saying it's your birthday when it's not and not leaving a tip or undertipping is being cheap.
Sara Noel is the owner of Frugal Village (www.frugalvillage.com), a Web site that offers practical, money-saving strategies for everyday living. To send tips, comments or questions, write to Sara Noel, c/o United Media, 200 Madison Ave., 4th Floor, New York, NY 10016, or e-mail sara@frugalvillage.com.
