Have you had the “social media” talk with your kids yet? Experts say it should be ongoing

How young is too young for facebooking, tweeting, or texting?  Have you had the “social media talk” with your kids yet?

Facebook and similar sites have set a minimum age limit of 13 for users.  Myspace sets the limit at 14.

But at least one poll has indicated nearly a quarter of children between the ages of eight and 12 are getting around those restrictions.

And some experts say that can cause problems.

“I think families are deciding at a younger and younger age that it’s okay for children to have all kinds of social media opportunities.  And they forget that maturity-wise, they’re not able to make really good decisions,” said Dr. Tracey Stulberg, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Birmingham.

WHAT’S ALLOWED WHEN

Dr. Stulberg recommended that parents have the “social media talk” with their kids before they have access to the internet or texting capability.

She said parents need to explain what social media is allowed at what age.  They should also thoroughly explain the rules that accompany certain sites versus cell phones. 

Kids need to know the consequences if they try to sneak onto facebook before they’re 13 or try to text a friend on your cell phone without permission. 

Sometimes time management becomes a concern if the child begins to focus too much on the social media landscape.

“Some young people find the lure of social media difficult to resist, which can interfere with homework, sleep and physical activity,” said Dr. Gwenn O’Keeffe of the American Academy of Pediatrics who co-authored a report on the topic earlier this year.

“Parents need to understand how their child is using social media so that they can set appropriate limits,” Dr. O’Keeffe added.

The American Academy of Pediatrics’ clinical report  -- “The Impact of Social Media Use on Children, Adolescents and Families” -- was published online March 28.

The AAP set guidelines advising parents to work on their own “participation gap” by becoming better educated about the many technologies their children are using.

THE POWER OF WORDS & IMAGES

From cyberbullying to sexting, children and adolescents can make mistakes in this digital age.

“Discuss the First Amendment right of free speech with your kids and when they might choose to not exercise it,” said Dr. Stulberg.

If you’re going to give them access, Dr. Stulberg said you should talk about the power and impact words and images can have on others.  

Spreading rumors electronically or sending inappropriate pictures that go viral around school are serious concerns.

Tell them that just a few clicks of a keyboard can damage someone’s reputation and self-worth.

KEEPING COMMUNICATION OPEN

They should also know the “social media talk” will continue…from both sides. 

“Your kids need to understand that they have someone to talk to and trust if they encounter something disturbing,” said Stulberg.

For example, if your child sees a post from a friend claiming they want to hurt themselves, your child should feel comfortable sharing that with you.

They should also let you know if a “new friend” is trying to seek a face-to-face meeting with them.

The FBI warns against the dangers of online child predators.  “It’s an unfortunate fact of life that pedophiles are everywhere online,” said Special Agent Greg Wing in a post on the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s web site early this year.

“Pedophiles regularly create bogus online profiles,” explained Wing.

One of the FBI’s veteran cyber investigators said about 70% of youngsters will accept “friend” requests regardless of whether they know the requester, and online video gaming platforms can also pose a threat.

MONITOR ING OFTEN

Parents should also make it clear that they’ll be supervising their social media often.

“Make a decision for computers, cell phones and iPads to be a privilege, and for social media sites to be an open opportunity for parents to check,” said Dr. Stulberg.

“If you’re giving your children the access, they have to understand monitoring will be part of it, like it or not,” added Stulberg.

Sometime the best monitoring comes in the form of conversations with your child.

For more ideas on how to talk to kids and teens about social media and sexting, check out this link from the American Academy of Pediatrics.