Many people believe a child’s personality is ingrained and can’t be changed. But a first-of-its-kind study out of our own Michigan State University has found preschoolers who play together, can directly influence each other’s personality traits.
As a father of two preschoolers, I find this study intriguing. MSU’s psychology department studied 3 and 4 years olds attending preschool classes for one full school year. They found children whose friends were hard-working or extroverted took on these traits gradually over time.
Luckily it doesn’t work the other way. Researchers found preschoolers whose friends were overanxious and easily frustrated did NOT take on these traits. And that’s good news because every parent I know wants to raise confident successful children, myself included.
Your preschooler’s friends may help shape your child’s personality, but parents still play a crucial role in raising a confident child.
Partha’s RX
1. Play with your kids. Not only do they learn, but it shows they’re worthy of your time. It makes them feel valued.
2. Give your child responsibilities starting at 2 years old. Be sure the tasks are age-appropriate and don’t hover over them. This will help develop self-confidence.
3. Teach self-encouragement. Have them repeat mantras like “If you don’t succeed - try, try again”. This positive inner voice will help encourage and motivate them.
4. Offer praise but don’t hand out mindless compliments. Over-praising can do more harm than good. Kids develop confidence because of what they’ve achieved, not because parents are constantly telling them they’re great.
You should keep a watchful eye on how your child feels and acts after playing with friends. You want to make sure playmates are building your child up, not knocking them down. If your child’s group of friends doesn’t seem like the right fit, then you may want to intervene. You can set-up playdates to encourage other friendships with more suitable peers.
