The World Health Organization reports that one in six couples experiences infertility. It's a widening statistic that's pushing more people than ever before to lean on non-traditional family-building methods, like surrogacy.
Unlike most states in the U.S., Michigan has strict laws around surrogate use. However, one couple has triumphed over it not once, but twice.
Alex and Alan Kamer's 3-year-old son, Crosby, is just like any other 3-year-old. His journey into the world was a little less traditional.
For Alex and Alan, traditional pregnancy was not an option. Alex has a complex congenital heart defect. Surrogacy was an option, but they never imagined the fact that they live in Michigan would amplify their stress.
In Michigan, compensated surrogacy is illegal, one of only three states in America where any such contract is unenforceable and/or criminal.
"We were definitely surprised and frustrated," Alex said.
Alex and Alan chose to seek a gestational carrier outside of the state, but it came with a cost.
They had to travel and said expenses, on top of surrogate compensation, legal fees, fertility and medical costs, totaled $1,000-$2,000.
With secondary infertility, Alex paid an additional $40,000 to use an out-of-state gestational carrier.
"I was so shocked. I felt so dehumanized and I felt so little," she said.
Stephanie Jones, who is the founder of the Michigan Fertility Alliance, said they estimate it increases the cost by about 40% to use someone out of state. That disparity pushed her to create the alliance.
"I knew something had to change," she said.
Really, three things needed to change. She said the state needs a reformed law that upholds surrogacy contracts, allows for compensation, and provides a pathway for legal parentage.
For those who choose to stay in the state and pursue non-compensated surrogacy, there's a legal headache.
The Kamers were lucky to have a friend offer to be a surrogate for their second child, due in July. But going that route meant being forced to ask for parental rights before a court.
"It's completely up to what county you’re in, what judge you get," Alex said. "In the back of our minds, this has been a worry this whole pregnancy."
The possibility of being forced to adopt their biological child is another fear that further minimizes the pool of Michigan families who can lean on surrogacy as an option.
"I feel like it should be accessible to everybody," Alan said. "We've been through so much and it feels like why does it need to be harder than it already is."
In 2022, a bill was introduced to reform the law, and the Michigan Fertility Alliance is working on that reform with lawmakers.
